Treasure Terror
by swarlock
Summary: Felix and Oscar go treasure hunting or so they think. Takes place in an alternate universe of THE ODD COUPLE: TOGETHER AGAIN TV Movie.
1. Chapter 1

THE ODD COUPLE: TREASURE TERROR By Steven Acevedo

Disclaimer: The Odd Couple was created by Neil Simon. Gary Marshall produced The TV Series. I m just using them as part of this tale.

Premise: Felix And Oscar go treasure hunting - or so they think.

FOOTNOTE: This version takes place in The Animated Hanna Barbera Universe after the events seen in The Odd Couple: Together Again TV Movie.

The room was a big dirty mess. It looked like an H-Bomb was dropped on it and only the roaches had survived. Felix was thoroughly digusted by his best friend's room.

"OSCAR!" He bellowed.

From out of a pile of gunk rose Oscar Madison, former Sports Writer rising from the mess that was his bed.

"Whattya want, Felix? I was dreaming about making love to a Bruntette in Mexico. She was a real hot Tamale I can tell you," he said with a huge grin on his face.

"You are filthier than ever!" He fumed.

"What do you care? You don't live here anymore. Besides you're the least of my problems. I got a ticket violation for parking on the wrong side of the street the other day and I can't find it," Oscar grumbled.

"Did you look in your sandwich?" Felix asked with a look of contempt on his face.

"Oh this old thing?" Oscar replied picking up the half eaten confection. "That was left over from 1975."

Felix wanted to throw up at that point.

Just then the doorbell rang and Felix went to get it. There was no one at the door but he spotted a white envelope addressed to him and Oscar.

"Oscar. It seems we got a letter addressed to us. Seems it was hand delivered too," Felix said.

"Well, Open it already!" He said to Felix irritably.

Opening the letter with a letter opener he took out the contents. It was written on yellowish paper. On the top was a letterhead with two bats on each side and a magic wand in the middle.

"What does it say?" Oscar asked.

"See for yourself," Felix replied handing him the letter.

"You are cordially invited to participate in a scavenger hunt. The contents in it will be of most value to you. Please come as soon as possible. In fact after you read the paragraph after this one. You will be here quicker. "Commatuossa?"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Oscar asked puzzled."

"It means you both got here just in time," a short fellow with glasses said.

"Oscar," Felix said to him. "I don't think we're in New York anymore."

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**THE ODD COUPLE: TREASURE TERROR PART 2  
By Steven Acevedo**

**They were in a house. A very dank musty house covered with cobwebs and flickering candles all over the place.  
"You're just in time," Steven W. Warlock said.  
"And here I thought you were Harry Potter's evil twin," Oscar mouthed off.  
"Despite your rudeness you came and now yer off," Steven said.  
"Off to where?" Felix asked.  
"On your scavenger hunt. Now get to it!" Steven sent crankily. He then disappeared in a puff of smoke.**

**"By the way, My roommate has the first clue," he said from all over the place.**

**"This is a fine pickle. I go from being in your apartment to this dreary place and what's more we're playing silly games," Felix said. "I'm weary. Let me rest for a bit."**

**Felix sat on what he thought was a wooden crate until he heard...**

**TAP TAP TAP!**

**"What's that noise?"  
"What noise?" Oscar replied.**

**TAP! TAP! TAP!**

**"There it goes again," Felix said now shaking.  
"You're imagining things, Felix."**

**TAP! TAP! TAP!**

**"Now I heard it," Oscar said nervously. "I-It's coming from where you're sitting."**

**TAP! TAP! TAP!**

**Felix looked down and his face turned pale as a ghost.**

**"AAAH! I'm sitting on a coffin," he screamed.  
"Woog youg ged ogg meeg," a muffled voice cried out.  
"Get up, Felix. GET UP!" Oscar shouted.**

**Jumping off Felix and Oscar stared in horror as a body rose up from the coffin.**

**"I thought I'd never get out of there," Frankiestein said. "Better get my tomato juice so I can get all peppy."**

**The vampire half bred turned into a bat and flew into the kitchen a few feet away from his bedroom. Coming back he was slurping on his glass of tomato juice from a wing tipped straw.**

**"Ah! That hit the spot," Frankenstein said. "Hi rthere. I'm suppose to give you a clue where to go."**

**Reaching deep inside his coffin which doubled as a bed. He gave them a slip of paper.**

**The note read: Go into the Jungle and look for some Beetles.**

**"Beetles?" Oscar asked puzzled.  
"But there's not a jungle within miles of here," Felix said.  
"Sez you, Bubba," Frankiestein said and a panel opened to reveal a jungle lush with tropical trees and fauna on the other side**

**"Gotta run, guys. I'm needed elsewhere," the vampire said.**

**Felix and Oscar both shrugged and went off into the jungle.**

**About an hour into the jungle the heat started to get to both of them and they had to find shade fast. In the clearing they saw a hut. The inside was bigger than the outside and they found themselves in a canteen bar.**

**"Damn! This place is hot. Wish I had brought my hat with me," Oscar said looking into a mirror  
to check his complexion. Suddenly he saw a bright glow which lasted only a few seconds. Turning around he saw a hat on a small white podium that looked like his. He bought it during his early years as a reporter and refered to it as his Yogi Bear topper since he couldn't remember what the hat style really was. He knew Ed Norton wore on it on The Honeymooners. Still Oscar liked it and it's been a part of his personality since then.**

**Picking it up from the podium a note dropped out of it.**

**"Sorry we were rough on you earlier, Oscar. As a gesture of good will. Here is your hat to keep your head cool for the rest of the trip. And for added protection I've added an enhancement I know you'll like."**

**Oscar threw the note away not thinking much about it. He saw Felix as usual cleaning up as usual.  
"Must you do that any time we go somewhere?" Oscar asked in his still hoarse voice.  
"It's what I do, Oscar. But perhaps I should rest again. Let's sit down in these chairs," Felix replied.**

**"Ladies And Gentleman. For your dining pleasure. Here are The Beetles!" a booming voice from a loudspeaker announced.**

**Out stepped four mop topped insects wearing suits singing a Rock and Roll tune.**

**Oh yeah I got to tell you,  
This clue we're giving you.  
Here's a hint and it's something,  
You've got to find the hand.  
You've got to find the hand,  
You've got to find the hand.**

**"A hand?" Felix got queasy thinking about it.  
"Not just any hand, Guv'nor. This one grants wishes," The Beetle with the big antennas said.  
"Let's go then," Oscar said excitedly.  
"But we haven't eaten yet," Felix protested. "You can't think on an empty stomach."  
For once Felix was right. Oscar took a menu in his hand and pointed to the things he wanted.**

**Row after row of food was placed on the table as Oscar wolfed down his meal with gusto.  
Felix could only watch in amazement as he drank a full pitcher of Green Slime Soda in one  
hugmongous guzzle.**

**He got queasy all over again.**

**To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

THE ODD COUPLE: TREASURE TERROR PART THREE By Swarlock and Co-Written by Birdy Wilbury

Leaving the jungle hut behind them Felix And Oscar were now in the deepest part of the jungle.

"GROWL!!!"

"W-What was that? A lion?" Felix said shivering.

"That was my stomach, Felix. Guess that meal I had at the canteen wasn't filling enough. I'm still hungry," Oscar said rubbing his tummy. "Wish I had a sandwich."

Oscar suddenly felt his pork pie hat moving on top of him. It rose up slightly.

"Oscar, Look!"

On top of his head was a sandwich. He took the little plastic platter with the sandwich on it off his head then put his hat back on.

"How did this get on my head?" he thought.

"That couldn't have happened," Felix thought aloud. It suddenly hit him. "Oscar, You weren't wearing this hat when we came into the jungle."

"Yeah. I wasn't. Then I wished I had it and it suddenly materialized," he said to Felix. "As a matter of fact. A note came with it and read that it somehow was enhanced now."

"As proposterous as this is to say. I think your hat is now magical." Felix hypothesized.

"That's ridiculous!" he scoffed.

"Go ahead and test it! Just Think of what you want before you want it," his best friend said.

Oscar reached into the hat which for some reason felt bottomless but he could feel things simply on instinct. Out came an eight ball from a pool table, then he pulled out the pool table which expanded out of the hat along with sticks and an extra set of balls.

"Pretty predictable," Felix snorted. "Try something bigger."

Oscar did. A fridge expanded out of the head wear with more food in it.

"We'll never get this thing out of here. I got it."

Oscar climbed up a tree and tapped his hat twice. Out fell a van.

"Slick looking van, Madison," Felix said grinning.

The door of the van burst open and a man walked out.

"That tunnel must've been deeper than I thought," he said. "This isn't The New Jersey Turnpike."

"Afraid not, son," Felix said.

"Oh. OK. Is there a bar in here somewhere?" the stranger asked.

Felix pointed in the direction where they just left from and turned back to Oscar who was in the van. He opened the door to see a party going on inside. For such a small van the interior was just as big as the jungle canteen they were in.

"Oscar! Oscar! Oscar! " Unger scoffed.

"Hey! I'm allowed to have a break can't I?" he said.

"Remember we're on a scavenger hunt. Not at Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion," he said sternly.

"Aww! Don't go, Oscar. You were going to do the Limbo with us," a girl dressed in a scantily clad bikini pouted.

"Sorry, girls. Duty calls!" he said with a resignated look. Getting out of the van he and Felix began walking again.

"Party's Over!" he said as he took off his head piece and told everyone to jump back into it. He then pushed the van and it shrank back inside.

"Can't we at least take the fridge?" he begged Felix.

"How are we going to lug it around?"

Oscar thought for a moment then reached into his hat and pulled a long grey snout, then two big ears and then a rope.

"An Elephant?" Felix said looking quite aghast.

"Yeah. And this rope I have on his tail with take the fridge with us as we go, Felix."

Climbng on the pachyderm. They saw the same stranger they met earlier walking back to look for the van of party animals. Oscar offered to give him a lift but he said "No."

Reaching into his hat he pulled out an airline ticket for Mexico and gave it to the stranger.

"Oscar. There's no airpline strip here that goes to Mexico," Felix said.  
"I have that covered too. Watch!"

He pulled out a door which expanded and the stranger thanked them and walked into the airport terminal.

He stopped short - "I'm afraid of heights," he said.

"There's money hidden on the plane," Oscar told him appealing to his sense of greed.

"I went through that phase once without a hitch," Felix said with a smug look on his face.

Oscar just rolled his eyes upward.

"Oy!"

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

THE ODD COUPLE: TREASURE TERROR PART FOUR By Swarlock and Birdy Wilbury

FOOTNOTE: For the purpose of this story. I've chosen to give Oscar a pork pie hat instead of his regular baseball cap which he usually wears. The reason is because in one of the episodes he wore one in a flashback sequence in The Early years of his career as a Sports Writer.

And as we all know. Oscar NEVER throws anything away - Unless Felix finds it first.

Now back to the story already in progress.

"This is getting ridiculous. There's no way we're going to find that Hand in the jungle," Felix said.  
"You're right about that. We're going to need an aerial view to look for it," Oscar said to Felix.  
Rummaging through his hat he pulls out a helicopter.  
"Can you fly this thing?" he asked Felix.  
"Can I FLY this thing? If you thought my fear of planes was bad. You have no idea how I feel about helicopters," Felix said shuddering at the thought.  
"OOO-Kay!" he said knowing where this was going. "Wait! I got a better idea then."

"Let's see," Oscar reached into his hat trying to search for what he needed.  
"Cueball, Eight ball, Baseball, Basketball. Football, Screwball." He pulled out a photo of the pun.  
"Thumb Tacs, Carpet Tacs, Income Tax, Tic Tacs, Flea tacs."  
"Flea tacs?" Felix said looking puzzled.  
"No! Hold it! It's just Flea Powder." The flea powder falls all over Felix and he starts sneezing, honking and coughing violently.  
"Gun Powder, Powder Keg..."  
"OSCAR!!!" Felix noticed that his friend dropped a set of matches that lit the fuse of the powder keg and...

BOOOOOOM!!!

They flew twenty feet in the air from the blast landing out of the jungle into a desert.

"Here it is!!!" Oscar shouted. "A flying carpet. It's the latest model too."

Felix and Oscar jump on the carpet as it goes up then shoots down like a missile.

"OSCARRRRR!!!!!"

"Abracabookey!" Oscar said and the carpet leveled off in a steady pattern. Felix was a bit shaken but soon gained back his composure - or what resembled it anyway.

"How did you know that the carpet would respond to the word you just said, Oscar?" asked Felix.  
"Simple! It's on the carpet itself," he said pointing to a corner with a logo on it.  
"You dummy! We left without finding the hand!!!" Felix bellowed.  
"Oh this thing?" Oscar pulled out The Golden Hand from his pork pie hat.  
"You had the hand all the time?"  
"Yeah. I saw on the way out of the canteen we were in."

Felix was too exhausted to chastised Oscar.

To be continued...


End file.
